All or Nothing

I think I have always lived with a very all or nothing mentality.  I either read an entire book (even if I hate it) or I don’t read at all.  I drink all the alcohol or none at all (admittedly this all or nothing is an actual illness/recovery situation).  So, either I write for this blog every week, or not at all; because if I write sporadically it’s a failure rather than a decision to cut back.

There’s been so much going on in the world, between a pandemic and the continued senseless killings of black men, women, and children.  I felt that staying silent was the safest course of action, avoiding ruffling others feathers is something that social anxiety can take to an extreme.  I have recently come to realize that maybe it’s time to ruffle some feathers.  COVID-19 and systemic racism are causing many problems, one of which is a mental health crisis.

My paralisis about what, if anything, to say surrounding current events threw me into the all or nothing mentality.  I am breaking through this mentality, and am going to write when I want and am inspired.  While this blog was meant to be a stable self created commitment, it was also meant to be fun.

While fun doesn’t exactly describe the current world we’re all living in, it’s important to talk about.  The threat of COVID-19 is something that we all have in common.  While some people don’t think it’s very serious or really simply just don’t care about others, many people are anxious every day.  Worried about themselves, family, friends, or the world as a whole.  Some people are suffering severe loneliness caused by the social distancing measures.  Some people are depressed or grieving.

Fun also doesn’t describe the ongoing murders by police because of racism, hatred of anything they don’t understand, the need to feel powerful, and of course systemic racism.  Try as I might, I will never truly understand what it feels like to see this happening and be afraid of the very people that (white) people are taught exist to protect us.  The fear, the sadness, and the anger I feel when I hear about police needlessly killing people is nothing compared to what I’m sure non-white American’s feel.

Much of this blog is writing from my experience, but right now I think it’s important to hear the experiences of, and mental health tips from, two people who are more qualified.


Mental health in times like this is something a lot of people are understandably having trouble maintaining.  I am happy to support the Black Mental Health Alliance, and if able, I hope you will consider supporting them as well

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