Last week I found out that my therapist is moving to New Hampshire next month.  I have been seeing this therapist since I first left rehab, so for around 4 years and 4 months.  I saw her on average once a week individually, and had several groups with her as well. Assuming I saw her just once a week each week and leaving out the group sessions, I have spent 212 hours (or just under 9 days) in her office talking.  

We have worked through a lot and have had a good working rapport.  Before I saw her I had a string of awful therapists and had all but given up on finding someone who I felt did a good job.  First there was the guy at my colleges counselling center who in response to my social anxiety told me that I was full of myself and that no one cared enough about me to make a judgement one way or the other.  I think I can see what he was getting at, but it was exactly the wrong thing to say.  

Then there was the woman who tried to make me feel guilty for being depressed when my life seemed so good, as though her entire education to get a PhD didn’t teach her what depression actually was.  Then the last person before my current therapist was one who was straight out of school and very cliquey with her various clients. She started to text me between sessions but if I ever texted her she would tell me how inappropriate it was.  After rehab she ghosted me, first she cancelled an appointment and then stopped answering calls and texts to reschedule. Needless to say that when I found Melissa, I had all but given up on therapy as a whole.  

I have already reached out to someone whose group I attended.  He is a part of her practice and is in the same offices so it won’t be as much of a change as starting fresh.  Either way though, it is scary to say goodbye to someone who has seen me through so much. I’ll write more as this transition occurs.  In the meantime, I just have to make sure I remember that her leaving has nothing to do with me but rather is a decision she has had to make for her own personal reasons.